Annoying Dylan
by Violet wingz of a demigod
Summary: This presentation is brought to you by Me,(Violet) Fang, and Angel. All the ways to Annoy Dylan! Warning: Very cruel! Very funny.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there. These are the ways to annoy, harass, and generally confuse...Dylan! Brought to you by Angel and Violet.(me)**

**#1 Make sure he cannot remember Max has a clone, and do the whole switching thing.**

It was a nice, summer day, when Angel walked up to Dylan. "Yes, Angel?" He asked. "You will not remember that there is Max 2 unless I tell you to remember her. Do you understand?" She said, in her, what Max called, "creepy little girl voice." Dylan nodded, a misty look in his eyes. Then he was back to normal. "Hello Angel" he said. "What do you want?" He asked. "Could you please take me to the ice cream place?" She asked sweetly. "Sure thing, Angel" And so of they went. Little did Dylan know...

Max and Maya had decided that they must get along, because otherwise it would be harder to save the world, and they did not want harder. So they had decided to go...to the ice cream place. When they got there, they would try to talk normally, get to know each other, and generally try not to kill each other. So as they went, they seemed to do a pretty good job of it.

When they got to the ice cream place, Max ordered chocolate, and Maya ordered Vanilla. Little did they know what Angel and Dylan were up too...

Angel and Dylan were walking down the road, right where Max and Maya had been a couple minutes before. They entered the shop, and Dylan walked in a beeline forwards to Max. It was only then he noticed Maya.

"It's a Max 2!" He yelled, causing Maya to frown with irritation, and the public to stare at him. "I go by Maya now, you know that, Dylan!" Maya saifrostily frowning. She returned to her ice cream, grumbling under her breath as she ate.

"But..but...there is only supposed to be one Max! Not two! This is bad! Are you an imposter!? Are you going to kidnap the real Max and take her to the school? I won't let you!" He yelled at her, pointing. " Maya stood up. "Look, Dylan,I don't know what your thinking right now, but I am MAYA! Not Max." She growled. And then she jumped on top of him, and started beating him up. In the corner of the room, Angel was meanwhile filming all of this. She was trying not to laugh.

Finally Maya got tired of beating up Dylan, and left the store with Max. Dylan was laying on the floor, apparently knocked out. Angel went back home, leaving Dylan on the floor, and made a wall on YouTube that said: Dylan funnies. And then posted the Video on it, and watched as It got hundreds of likes. Later when Dylan awoke, and sat up to go home, he found that wherever he went, people were laughing at him. When he finally got home, he tripped over a wire at the door, hit his head, and fell unconscious. Angel also put this on her YouTube wall, which was becoming quite popular. Dylan finally went to bed, saying he needed rest.

**Me and Angel: Teehee.**

**Dylan: What did I do? **

**Me: You disrupted the Fax! That was unacceptable!**

**Angel: Yeah!**

**Me:Angel, I think we should recruit Fang to help us. He would be very happy to!**

**Angel: Yes! R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Me: Hello people's! **

**AnGel: Let's go recruit Fang!**

**Me: Yes. Bunnies, go get Fang. **

**Angel: You have your own group of bunnies? I didn't know that!**

**Me: Well I do. Oh look, they are here with Fang!**

**Fang: Um...Why are there bunnies that are carrying me?**

**Angel: Cuz we need to recruit you!**

**Fang: Okay...for what? And who is that?**

**Me: I'm Violet.**

**Fang: Sure. Why am I being recruited?**

**Me: Because we think you might like this job... **

** Angel:...for Annoying Dylan!**

**Fang: Annoying Dylan? Yep, I'm in.**

**Me: Good.**

**Fang: K**

**#2 Find a grup of Dylan Fangirls, (This might be a bit hard) and convince them that Dylan is in the house. Then, tell them he will fly for them if they push him of the roof of a building.**

Angel was walking down the road, reading minds and trying to gather a group of DyLAN was not easy to do, because most people knew that Dylan was evil for disrupting the Fax. Then, she heard in someone's mind that they were going to a meNTAL hospital to visit their little sister. This was not very important news until she realized whoever liked Dylan would be insane, and therefore a mental hospital would be a good place to start.

She followed the Person walking there, and soon she got to the hospital. She came in, unnoticed, and walked down the hallways, looking for someone who liked Dylan. She found that there were quite a few People who liked Dylan. She let all of the doors open to the ones that liked him, and soon a bunch of crazy Fangirls were stumbling over each other in the hall.

"I know where Dylan is." Angel said, and all of the girls stopped and stared at her. Then, Angel was swarmed with the girls, and hear phrases like: "Where is he? I need to find him!" And "I wan my Dylan-Poo!" "Follow me!" Angel said over the hubbub.

She walked back out o the hospital, the crazies following. They finally got to the hotel, and Angel said "He is on the top floor, room 16375. If you push him off the roof, he might even fly for you!" With these words, the girls scrambled to the building.

Back in room 6375...

Dylan was on the coach, watching TV, unaware of the fact that Fang had glued the tips of his wings together, and then had left the room. He then heard knocking on the door. He opened it and saw...a bunch of giggling girls.

"Hello?" He asked, wondering why they were here. Hey erupted into whispers, and jumped forward at him. "Ahh!" He exclaimed jumping back, and then scrambling to get to the window. He opened it, and jump out. The girls screamed with delight when they saw him open his wings. But somehow he could not flap. His wings looked like they were stuck togetHer. He finally ripped them apart, but not before smashing his face into the concerate.

He stood up, and his face looked squished, like a pugs. The best thing, though, is that the whole time Fang was recording, and they put on their YouTube wall again, and it was one of the most popular videos on there.

**Fang: Next time I should humiliate him in public personally.**

**Me:Sure. R&R!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Me: Yes! REVIEWS!**

**Me: I must introduce everybody to my bunnies! Here they are:**

**Bubbles, sliver bunny, leader of the clan oF bunnies. Rain, rainbow bunny, Bo, blue bunny, , Missy, purple bunny, Bunzilla, green bunny, Skye, turquoise bunny-**

**Angel: Uh, how many bunnies do you have?**

**Me:500. And they all have names! :)**

**Fang: Shouldn't we be torturing Dylan? You could just make a Fic. And put all of your bunnies there...**

**Me: Brillance! And this torture will be the best of all! MUAHAHA-*cough cough***

**Fang: Okay...**

**Angel: Start the story!**

**#3 Two words-Victoria's Secret**

Dylan was sitting on the couch, his ugly face staring at the screen of the TV, like the fat as* he was. Angel bounced up to him and asked: "Dylan, can you take me to the mall? Please?" She asked. "Well...I _really_ want to finish this game, so..." He said, not tearing his recently squished face from the screen. Angel, however, wasn't giving up that easily. "Please?" She said, using Bambi eyes. "Fine." Dylan said, and struggled to get off the couch.

They finally got to the store. Angel immediately led Dylan to Victorias Secret. Dylan reluctantly walked in. They purchased some things, and to Dylan's relief, the walked out. Or in Dylan's case, waddled. But Angel was not satisfied. "Dylan, follow me." She ordered, using a bit of mind puppeteering. He followed her into...the girls bathroom. She shoved him in a stall and ordered him, "Put on the bra and underwear." which Dylan did.**  
**

He walked out, a minute later, only dressed in a tiger-striped bra and undies with bows on them. He was stared at; and then everybody realized he was a GUY. Which made them stare more.

Angel lead Dylan to a school (A normal one. Not THE School.) and entered the gym, where some people were putting on a talent show. Dylan, still on the mind control, ran up onto the to the stage and startEd to do the Harlem shake.

The audience was shocked. Then, the girl who was doing her act, kicked him in the soft spot as he started doing the Mocerania. (Is that how you spell that?) he doubled over in pain, then the mind control went off. He looked down at what he was wearing, then gave an undignified squel and ran off the stage to hide.

Fang had recorded all of this, and put it on their ever-growing wall of Dylan videos. He also posted it on his blog. Dylan spent the rest of the week in hiding.

**Me: I get crueler every day...Review, or my Bunnies will attack you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Yay! Since this seems to be a pretty popular story considering the fact it has three chapters...I decided to Update! **

**Angel: Goodie! More torturing _him!_**

**Fang: I agree with Angel.**

**Me:*Gasp* Fang shows emotion! **

**Fang: I can show emotion, you know...**

**Me: yes, but you only show it around MaX. Anyways, onto the story!**

**#4 Planes=Dylan with Cereal bomb=Endless fun! **

Dylan was going of a plane. This was because that the flock was going to France, and the flock could not Fly without stopping for 6 hours,so they agreed to take a plane. This ment a long, tedious, time getting patted down and thoroughly searched for weaponry. Naturally, this inspired Angel and Fang to do something that involved humiliation of Dylan. It stated on Saturday Morning when everybody was packing the few items they owned.

Angel knocked on Gazzy and Iggys door, and it swung open to reveal Them stuffing bomb supplies in a bag. "Guys?" She asked sweetly. "Could you please make me a cereal bomb?" She asked. "A cereal bomb? Like, a bomb that explodes cereal?" Gazzy asked. "Yep!" Angel replied, popping the P.

Understanding dawned on their faces. "That's a brilliant idea, Angel! We'll make one for you and one for ourselves." Iggy said, an evil smirk on his face, apparently already planning it. "And me sure to add a little metal inside it too." Angel added, before closing the door as she left the room.

Later...

They were at the Airport, holding their small bags and waiting in line. Max was getting jumpy;she usually did when having to wait in an enclosed area; while Fang tried calming her down. Angel slipped the tiny circular object inside Dylan's large pocket. He walked through the metal detector, and to his ugly face's surprise, the alarm went off.

Two security guards walked up to him, and grabbed him roughly, steering him away. Angel and Fang secretly followed, wanting to catch this part on film. The guards, still dragging a protesting Dylan along, strode inside.

A large, fat man inside the office inspected Dylan coldly as he was forced down into a chair. "Care to explain yourself?" He asked icily, clearly not wanting to hear Dylan's excuses.

"I...I...I didn't put anything metal inside my pocket!" Dylan protested. The man sighed, and shook his head. "Guards, search him." He commanded, and the guards hastened to obey him. The guard immediately put his hand inside Dylan's left back pocket and redrew out the Bomb triumphantly.

The Bomb, though, was starting to tick unevenly, and suddenly it exploded everywhere. The manager, his guards, and Dylan were covered with cereal. the managers face had gone bright red with anger. "You." He spat at Dylan. "Will clean up this mess. As much as I want to, I cannot punish you because... A... _cereal bomb _can hardly be presented to the court as a punishable crime. However, you will clean up this mess. Goodbye." He growled and left the room.

Dylan was left cleaning the floor, as unknown to him, Fang and Angel had just posted a certain video on YouTube. Their wall was now the #one wall on YouTube.

**Hehee, that was fun...**

**Fang: Agreed.**

**Me: Review!**


	5. Chapter 5

Me:** *Sobs***

**Angel: What happened? **

**Me: My...my...**

**Fang: What?**

**Me: *Hands Fang a card***

**Fang:Oh. Sorry.**

**Angel:What happened?**

**Fang: Apparently her dads second cousin Is getting married.**

**Angel: ...So?**

**Fang: Well, he looks just like Dylan...**

**Me: ...And his name is Sam. And I'm related to him! **

**Angel: Ohhhh. Sorry, Violet.**

**Me: Its oka-LILY, STOP EATING THE BEANS!**

**Fang: What?**

**Me: Lily the Lime-eating Llama is eating all of my beans because she couldn't find any limes.**

**Angel and Fang: Ooookayy...**

**Time for the story!**

**5# (This was suggested by a brilliant reviewEr who gave me this idea. Applause to: Mamodoking200) Apparently big buff guys (With brass knuckles) don't like it when you steal their girlfriends. Hence-this great idea.**

Angel was in New York City. She was in an alleyway, where the most feared and vulgar gang in New York City was. The Bloody Eagles. They were known for their tendency to...ahem, slightly hassle people. If Max knew Angel was going to meet these people, well...Angel would be In quite a bit of trouble, which was why she had to carefully plan the meeting.

She sneaked around a bit until she found the gang in a Bar, drinking waaaaaay to many shots, and generally getting quite drunk. She braced herself and approached them. One of the more observant ones slurred: "Hey, you, little girl. Their bar is for the big guys only." And then collapsed into a fit of laughter. Angel innocently batted her eyelashes at him.

"What do ya want?" he grunted after he stopped laughing. "Are you the leader of the Bloody Eagles?" she asked. "Ya. Whats it to ya, ya little girl?" He said drunkenly. "Well, you know your girlfriend, Monica?" Angel said, picking the name out of his mind. "Ya. She my girlfriend. Why da ya care?" He asked. "Well, this guy named Dylan was making out with her yesterday." Angel replied, and the drunk stopped in mid-sip of beer.

"WHAT?" He roared, causing some people at nearby tables to stare at him. "YA BETTER NOT BE LYI'N TO ME, YA LITTLE GURL!" he growled menacingly. Then h. Turned his attention back to the rest of the men surrounding the table. "Gayng, this little girls says that my MOnica was maki'n out with some Doush-bag!" he yelled.

"WHAT?" the rest of the gang yelled. "We must teach them a lesson! We need revenge!" A man yelled, and soon everyone in the gang was charging down the alleyway. "Where's him, little girly?" the leader grunted at Angel. "There" she pointed. The men rushed forward, engulfing a startled Dylan.

One hour later...

The gang finally got tired of beating up Dylan, so they left, muttering threats to him if he ever came close to Monica again. Fang video taped it all, and put it on the wall. Dylan was even more ugly then before, and Angel was incredibly happy with the result. Finally, Dylan trudged upstairs.

**Hehe. Review please?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Yay! 4 Reviews! **

**Angel: :)**

**Fang: Thats only 4... **

**Me: It still makes us happy, Mr. Sunshine. ._. **

**Fang:Mr. Sunshine?**

**Me: Yup.**

**Angel: Guys, we are supposed to be torturing Dylan, not calling Fang Mr. Sunshine.**

**Me: You have a point. CONTINUING...**

**6# FangGIRLS+Angry Max (suggested by a nice reviewer ^.^)**

"FANG! I'm leaving for a while. Take care of the kids! NO guns. No bombs. NO mind puppeteers."Max yelled as she walked out the door , spread her wings and disappeared into the sky. Fang rolled his eyes at her bluntness. But he was inside happy, because now their plan could be put in action.

Dylan came charging down the hall. "Where's Max?" He panted, Apparently not using to moving his butt. Or his fat legs. Then he saw Fang. "Where is Max!" He yelled at him. "She left for a fly." Fang said calmly. He knew what Dylan wanted to ask Max, because he had seen Dylan practicing pickup lines in the mirror. He also knew today Dylan was planning on asking HIS Max out. This simply would not happen.

"Where is she though?" Dylan grabbed Fang roughly in an attempt to threaten him. Fang just shrugged Dylan off like he was nothing. **(A/N Which Dylan is. He is a I.B.O.N.I., a Idiotic being of no importance.)** Dylan's face turned red. "I want Max" he roared, and...Ahem...Tried...to sound threatening.

Then, the door slammed open. Angel was leading...a bunch of girls. They squealed in delight when they saw Fangs face, but then...they saw Dylan.

Like a bunch of wild animals, they pounced. They screamed hatefully at them. Fang, meanwhile, crept around them and walked through the front door. He was the one who was going to ask Max out. Not HIM!

He jumped into the air and flew around, looking for Max.

He finally saw her. He Angeled himself towards her and then fell into a rhythm of flapping.

"Max?" He asked. "What? I thought I told you too looks free the kids." Max repLied."I was...wondering if you would go out with me?" He said cautiously. Max stared at hI'm for awhile, until she said "Yes!" And Fangs heart lifted. "Lets go tell the flock." Max said after a while.

When they got back, they saw an unhappy and bruised Dylan on the floor. Dylan was deduced to sobs after finding out Fang and Max were together. And Angel, of course, onto it on video.

**XD That was fun. Review! Those guys support my life force...**


	7. Chapter 7

**GETTING REVIEWS!**

** I'm loving it.**

**Fang: You stole that from McDonald's!**

**Me: Well no dip Sherlock.**

**Fang: You stole that from Max!**

**Me: Yup.**

**Fang: You stole that from...uh...**

**Me: Fail. **

**Fang: Shut up! **

**Me: And here, ladies and gentlemen, is the master of comebacks!**

**Fang: YOU STOLE THAT FROM- **

**Me: Really, Fang? **

**#7 Heheh- Angry Fang...**

Fang POV

Yes! If I wasnt the dark and silent Fang, I would be doing a happy dance right now. Max was going out with me! Yes! YES! Oh yikes. Fang, don't become Nudge. Okay, so after that mental lecture, I guess I should explain now. I am going out with Max, and Sam and Dylan are not getting in the way!

"Fang!" I Max yell, and I ran to go find her. Panicking a little,I wondered if Erasers were here. I ran to where Max was and Asa's something worse. Much, much, worse. Dylan was pinning Max to the wall and...trying to kiss her! Oh. My. God. Dylan is going to die! I saw red, and I lunged towards Him, breaking him away from Max. I starTed punching him as fast as I could.

I was finally done with him (which took a while) and stepped back to look at my work. Dylan was currently on the dolor with a heavily blending nose, a broken arm, a a twisted leg,possible brain damage (although his brain was probably damaged in the first place), and a lot of bruises and cuts.

Angel recorded this as usual, and put it on YouTube, (as usual) and watched as in 4 minutes it became the number one video on YouTube, and even as it won Americas Funniest Home Videos.

**Yay! Review!**


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